The Soundtrack

It's finished.

Michael and Alena's soundtrack.

It took me a while to put together this set of songs. They had to be just right.

There was a reason behind each song and they had an impact on me differently along my journey. Some have touched me in ways of our struggle to conceive and the loss of my ability to reach my dream (so far). While other songs deal with my pain and sadness over M & A's loss. Still others reflect the things I would sing/say to them if they were here. A couple of the songs are ones that remind me of them and how I remember them.

I decided not to post a list of the 'soundtrack' songs I chose, but instead want to reveal them on here one by one. I'll start from the beginning and try to post 2 songs at a time, for a total of 9 posts. If I can find a music video or audio version of the song, I'll post that so you can hear them - along with the lyrics since I know some of these artists do not enunciate. I may highlight some of the lyrics that speak to me the most, which will point-out the reason for my choosing a certain song. This will allow me something to keep busy and share the music that means something to me.

Some of the songs you have heard and I may have already posted on my blog in the last few months. Instead of trying to find the post where it's already located, I'll repost anew (since it's easier for me).

~ I would love for you to listen with an open heart and join me on this journey of mourning and healing. It has helped me to collect these beautiful songs and bring them together. If you have had any kind of loss and want a copy of the soundtrack for yourself, I'll be open to mailing out a CD once I've posted the 19 songs. ~

#1 Kellie Coffey - I Would Die For That






Jenny was my best friend.
Went away one summer.
Came back with a secret
She just couldn't keep.
A child inside her,
Was just too much for her
So she cried herself to sleep.

And she made a decision
Some find hard to accept.
To young to know that one day
She might live to regret.

But I would die for that.
Just to have one chance
To hold in my hands
All that she had.
I would die for that.

I've been given so much,
A husband that I love.
So why do I feel incomplete?
With every test and checkup
We're told not to give up.
He wonders if it's him.
And I wonder if it's me.

All I want is a family,
Like everyone else I see.
And I won't understand it
If it's not meant to be.

Cause I would die for that.
Just to have one chance
To hold in my hands
All that they have.
I would die for that.

And I want to know what it's like
To bring a dream to life.
For that kind of love,
What I'd give up!
I would die for that.

Sometimes it's hard to conceive,
With all that I've got,
And all I've achieved,
What I want most
Before my time is gone,
Is to hear the words
"I love you, Mom."

I would die for that.
Just to have once chance
To hold in my hands
What so many have
I would die for that.

And I want to know what it's like
To bring a dream to life.
How I would love
What some give up.
I would die ...
I would die for that.


# 2 Josh Groban - You Are Loved





Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
When your heart’s heavy, I
I will lift it for you
Don’t give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you, I
I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

Don’t give up
It’s just the hurt
That you hide
When you’re lost inside, I
I’ll be there to find you

Don’t give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you I
I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

You are loved

Don’t give up
It's just the weight of the world

Don't give up
Everyone needs to be heard

You are loved


Love you M & A
~ mommy