Update

Well hello everyone! I am sorry I have been such a bad blogger, I just feel kind of like I don't have a ton to say. And the catching up I want to do really needs to be done in person, you know? I promise to make a better effort to keep in contact this summer.

There has been a lot of loss lately...my blog seems to reflect that and I know it isn't always a good read. I apologize if I seem to have a lot of negative posts.

Not everything has been bad for me. I am choosing to deal with everything head-on and really soak in as much of the good as I can. We only have one life here on earth.

I am dealing with my Dad's death a little bit at a time, choosing not let it bring me to that painful place I went with the twins. I don't think I had a choice in that mourning process as their passing was sudden and traumatic. My Dad's was a long time coming and I was given a heads-up about his decline. It's been hard being away from my Ohio family right now, but I think dealing with this new loss here in Washington is helping to keep me a bit removed from the very real sadness my family is feeling over there. I have been given a copy of the video that was taken during his memorial and have watched it through once. I cried when my aunts and uncle spoke and was able to feel a little bit involved even at a distance.

I am doing okay with it. I think it will take a while to absorb, but I will get there.

I still think about my twins every day, but I mostly smile when I think of them. The tears are there on occasion, but passing the 7 month mark has done wonders on my ability to reach out to them in happiness. They even sent Mike and I the most gorgeous rainbow last Sunday. All I had to do was walk outside and stand in front of our house.

They never cease to amaze their parents.

We are really getting into full attack mode on our yard. The whole thing needs an overhaul and Mike has taken great strides in digging up grass and less-than-liked bushes. We are replanting and trying to landscape what was left untouched for I don't know how long. Mike's parents have been a big help so far too and they have given us a lot of advice on how to tackle certain things. We've got blueberry and tomato plants growing as well as new trees and ground cover.

I will begin working on the weeding up on the back terrace in order to prep it for Michael and Alena's memorial garden. I haven't picked out which plants and flowers I want to use, but I am excited to get it started in time for summer. I have a vision, I just don't know all the details yet.

Once I have a good section done, I will post some pictures!

I just wanted to check-in and say that I am doing okay. Seeing the sun after a long fall and winter is helping immensely. M & A's memory book is (mostly) finished and it brings me great joy to look through it on days when I miss them.

Thanks for being patient and caring through it all my friends. I'm grateful for you.