Monday, October 11, 2010

Sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself!

I was thinking today that I need to find something(s) to keep me busy. I feel like the past 5-6 years, I haven't done much with myself and it's kind of bothering me. I have had a great time being married and keeping up friendships, but I don't feel I am accomplishing anything to be proud of.

I have my photography, but it's not enough (since I am not doing it full time) and to be honest, I just feel sorta mediocre at it. I have an eye for it, but I don't feel like I am really all that great at it.

I still write on occasion and have a rough outline for a story/book, but can't seem to produce much of a draft for it. I think too much and spend too much time critiquing what I've written to ever get very far. I know this is my own undoing, but I can't seem to just write and be happy with a rough draft for the time being. Man, I get on my own nerves sometimes!

I started a bit of Geneology a while ago too. This can be really interesting and fulfilling, but is a lot of work! You can sit at the computer for hours just trying to track down a birthdate for a relative! It gets to be exhausting after a while! I have some information but I don't want to put a bunch of money into a geneology program to keep me organized or pay a monthly/annual fee to subscribe to an online "people finding" site. This makes my search much harder.

I know I have told many of you about my annoyance with being on the computer for hours. Well all three of these hobbies include hours on the computer! After work, the last thing I feel like doing is sitting in front of the computer, so I admit that is part of the problem with accomplishing these tasks. Even blogging requires the computer! What's a girl to do?!

As far as figuring out a solution to this problem; I guess I just have to keep trying to get better at the activities I am alreay doing (maybe take some classes) or find something else to get excited about. Don't get me wrong, I love not having a lot of responsibilities and taking vacations! But, I feel like I need something to feel really good about right now; something to work towards and be proud of myself for. Maybe that means going back to school and getting another degree...or maybe it just means I need to crack down and set some short term goals for a project I am doing. Whatever the direction I head, I need to find the motivation and resolve to stick to the plan. It's too easy to just keep sliding by and "living" without having a real sense of direction.

Boy, it would sure be easier if all I wanted was to have what I have now. I would be set! But I have a lot of goals for myself and my 30's are the perfect time to figure them out and attack them head on. It would be nice to at least have a home of our own by now...yikes...I have a lot to do.


  1. I know exactly what you're sayin! It takes a lot of discipline to find something at stick with it. I have that problem all of the time! I think you should start blogging more, I like it when you blog. Although, that does requite computer time... hmm.

  2. Yes, it does require computer time. I am trying to do at least 10 a month if i can. If you send me a challege or quiz, I will do one!
    I'll figure it all out!

  3. You can join in anytime you want. You just link up through my blog (or the person that is hosting it). Tell me if you need help figuring out the blogosphere!

  4. Hey Alissa! I just joined this website it's been incredibly helpful starting, and keeping me writing daily. It's sort of a private, free-writing forum that lets you get everything out of your head without (like a blog, or facebook, for example) the worry of having other people read it or judge it. I'm kind of addicted to their point system. You get points based on how many words you write in a day/how many days in a row you write. I don't know why, but this is really motivational to me : )

    Another good one I have heard of but not used is for writing triggers and exercises.

    I am looking forward to seeing you over the holidays (and hopefully Mandy and baby Bennett too!)

    xo Molly

  5. Molly, those are some awesome ideas! Thank you! I am always trying to think up things to talk about.

  6. Here's one for ya. Here's my thesis for a paper I need to write. "Wal-Mart's business practices have continually been questioned by many American's. Although their cheap prices are luring, the way those prices are provided is being scutinized more and more. Those finding have given us knowledge, that no ethical or moral person could ignore, for the chance to save a few dollars." Now go. Write away my pretty....I mean, uhhh, my dear! :)

  7. Hope you get this sorted. I can remember the feeling... though that seems like that season was a very long time ago, only nine years ago...
    if you're interested in doing a photography class I've got an awesome one starting up in January! ;)


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